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Talk about your dreams without the “buts”

I had dinner a few weeks ago with some friends from home while they were visiting New York. They were both extremely excited to be in the city, and mentioned that they would love to move up here…BUT they can’t because of this, this, and this. “You know how it is…”


You can really learn a lot about people by paying close attention to their language. But is such a powerful word, it’s like a signal that says “everything I said before this is not really possible / real / true, here comes the truth.” As I sat there and listened to two people who seemed legitimately excited about living in New York ramble off all the reasons why they couldn’t and never would be able, I couldn’t help to realize they would get exactly what they wished for. Despite wanting to move up here, they were working hard at convincing themselves otherwise.

How often do you experience that free and pure feeling that dreams provide, and that fear driven urge to quickly add the “buts,” to the conversation? We all have dreams, we all have things we’d love to do, but often they can be very scary to pursue. Our dreams don’t care about our financial situation, our skill sets, the expectations of our peers, the expectation of our family, our current living situation…nothing. Your dreams bubble up from the deepest parts of your body, the little kid within you that doesn’t know fear. Buts come from the part of you that has learned mistakes can be painful and safety is worth sacrificing your dreams for. But the question is, are you really safer not pursuing your dreams? Nope. It’s an illusion. I promise, you have nothing to lose, only riches to gain from chasing your dreams.

What are your dreams? Can you talk to someone else about them without adding “buts,” to the discussion? Try something different, talk about what you want without adding why you can’t have it.  You might just get what you wish for.

One comment on “Talk about your dreams without the “buts”

  1. Tom Trebes says:

    Hmmm…’buts’ come from the part of you that has learned mistakes can be painful and safety is worth sacrificing your dreams for…Thank you once again.Tom


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