What do you do?

I hate this question. I’d love to know why even the anticipation of it makes me quake. I remember reading in “What Should I do with my life,” about one person in there also quaking whenever asked this question. This is how they knew they HAD to make a change. What’s the point of going out on your own if you don’t feel unbelievably proud and excited about what you’re doing for the world?

I would say that I probably spend way too much time thinking about what I should be doing, or do and too little time actually doing. Perhaps I’ve been thinking about what “I want to work on next,” for so long tha I’ve actually found something to work on…finding what I’m going to work on next. That has become sort of my calling and path for the moment. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy (obviously) spending time reading and working in perosnal development. But that’s like trying to learn how to ride a bike from a picture book, you can’t do it unless you feel it. I’ll always put an emphasis on personal development in my life because I truly believe we live what we see, and seeing is all about your perspective. Perspective and knowledge can consistently be improved and built over time. But personal development is only half the equation, the other half needed for a “successful life,” is action. I’ve been gunshy for a year now.

I’m determined to set a new course with drastic changes. It’s not as if I’ve been completely idle over the last 12 months. I have indeed spent a lot of time on a lot of projects, and while I’ve been able to make some money and learn some new things, I feel as if little progress has been made. The truth is doing these little projects is like running on a treadmill. You’ll use up a lot of your time, you’ll feel tired at the end of the day, but when you look up you realize that you didn’t move anywhere. That’s not fun for anyone. But this time, real changes need to be made.

It’s really hard to get an “outside” perspective from within. The problem is that everything you see and do in your life is affected by your own filter or perspective. But I think that paying attention the way outside events make you feel, you can cut through some of the potentially harmful beliefs you have put in place preventing a fresh personal perspective. I”ve been resting on the beliefs that I’m on the right path to finding my next thing. I approach it the same way, with my constant networking, brainstorming sessions, and project work. I “think” this will work, but I “know,” it won’t. I felt this more clearer than ever yesterday while meeting someone, who quickly quipped to me “What do you do?” Good question. I, of course, squirmed.

I can’t keep going down the same roads and expect to find a new destination at the end. It’s so important for me to have an answer to that question (what do you do) that feels awesome, important, inspirational, and right. That comes with time, education, and risk.

It’s easy to forget the famous Einstein quote “Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Time for a change.