birthday

So yesterday was my birthday (june 16th), and I have to say it was not really a day I wanted to face.  I feared it because I knew it would be hard, sad, and frustrating…It was. I couldn’t and can’t help but feel cheated and frustrated to come through this 25th birthday without my mother at my side.  Despite all the wonderful people who sent me cards, left me voicemails, and wished me in person a happy birthday, it all really felt empty.  I didn’t have the one person I really wanted here with me. And never in a million years, even at my 24th birthday, would I have envisioned my life as it is on my 25th birthday.  The truth is, I miss her so much, but I’ve gotten so good at pretending life is normal up in columbus.  It really took my birthday to bring the reality back again.  I didn’t get one of her famous cards with tales of me being born, how proud she is of me, how much she loves me, how much she enjoys watching me grow each year, and how much she looks forward to sharing the years ahead with me.  The only thing certain about the future is that it is uncertain.  I am glad that I valued my time with her.  I’m glad that I saved most of her birthday cards from the last few years.  I’m glad I saved a little of my past, for the future.
There are no guarantees that something here today will be here tomorrow.  So before you go out and dismiss your birthday as just another, or even tomorrow as just another…take a minute to enjoy who and what you have today.  Nothing is forever.