Comments for Life Putting - Dan Putt http://danputt.com trying to make sense of it all Mon, 08 Mar 2010 03:19:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 Comment on The magic wand – do overs by jerrycolonna http://danputt.com/2010/03/06/the-magic-wand-do-overs/comment-page-1/#comment-56309 jerrycolonna Mon, 08 Mar 2010 03:19:46 +0000 http://danputt.com/2010/03/06/the-magic-wand-do-overs/#comment-56309 Yup. Totally get it. Yup. Totally get it.

]]> Comment on The magic wand – do overs by jerrycolonna http://danputt.com/2010/03/06/the-magic-wand-do-overs/comment-page-1/#comment-56308 jerrycolonna Mon, 08 Mar 2010 03:19:23 +0000 http://danputt.com/2010/03/06/the-magic-wand-do-overs/#comment-56308 "It's not what you do, it's who you are, right?"<br>That's right...but even more, for reasons to personal to say here, thanks for that reminder. “It's not what you do, it's who you are, right?”
That's right…but even more, for reasons to personal to say here, thanks for that reminder.

]]> Comment on The magic wand – do overs by danputt http://danputt.com/2010/03/06/the-magic-wand-do-overs/comment-page-1/#comment-56305 danputt Sun, 07 Mar 2010 22:07:00 +0000 http://danputt.com/2010/03/06/the-magic-wand-do-overs/#comment-56305 and for the record I don't think eating 12 oreos is bad and wrong. I think<br>it's totally understandable...but for the sake of my argument and in the<br>context of your diet, it's considered bad and wrong. and for the record I don't think eating 12 oreos is bad and wrong. I think
it's totally understandable…but for the sake of my argument and in the
context of your diet, it's considered bad and wrong.

]]> Comment on The magic wand – do overs by danputt http://danputt.com/2010/03/06/the-magic-wand-do-overs/comment-page-1/#comment-56306 danputt Sun, 07 Mar 2010 22:04:45 +0000 http://danputt.com/2010/03/06/the-magic-wand-do-overs/#comment-56306 Maybe that's really the key here, detachment. Maybe the playfulness for me<br>isn't coming from the idea of do overs, it's coming from the detachment of<br>my personal worth to my actions and outcomes. Holy crap is life heavy and<br>scary when your worth is directly related to what you do. Eating 12 oreos<br>is bad and wrong, so you, Jerry, are bad and wrong. I've lived under this<br>philosophy before, it sucks. But now in a do over it seems like it's easier<br>to separate the eating of 12 oreos, a mistake, from who you are. So maybe a<br>do over makes detachment from outcomes easier?<br><br>just thinking out loud here. Maybe that's really the key here, detachment. Maybe the playfulness for me
isn't coming from the idea of do overs, it's coming from the detachment of
my personal worth to my actions and outcomes. Holy crap is life heavy and
scary when your worth is directly related to what you do. Eating 12 oreos
is bad and wrong, so you, Jerry, are bad and wrong. I've lived under this
philosophy before, it sucks. But now in a do over it seems like it's easier
to separate the eating of 12 oreos, a mistake, from who you are. So maybe a
do over makes detachment from outcomes easier?

just thinking out loud here.

]]> Comment on The magic wand – do overs by danputt http://danputt.com/2010/03/06/the-magic-wand-do-overs/comment-page-1/#comment-56307 danputt Sun, 07 Mar 2010 21:57:49 +0000 http://danputt.com/2010/03/06/the-magic-wand-do-overs/#comment-56307 Yes I saw those comments on your post (you get a ton of great comments by<br>the way) after I posted this. I think there is a some risk in that if<br>someone knows they have a do over, then perhaps they may not do it "right"<br>the first time. However, as you touched on much more eloquently than I will<br>here, the risk of not doing at all due to the fear of mistakes is far<br>greater than the risk of not doing it "right," the first time. It may be<br>different for everyone, but I know for me the right approach is playful and<br>experimental, which requires the right to do overs.<br><br>As you mentioned in your comment, the best of all motivations is self-love.<br> For me the concept of do overs is an important part of that. I've spent<br>way too much time beating myself up about mistakes I've made, things I've<br>said, things I didn't do. I would say that weight, which is cumulative,<br>does far more to prevent my best than the do over policy ever has. For me<br>the do over has lessened that weight of the past, and most importantly makes<br>it possible to detach outcomes and actions from self-love. It's not what<br>you do, it's who you are, right? Yes I saw those comments on your post (you get a ton of great comments by
the way) after I posted this. I think there is a some risk in that if
someone knows they have a do over, then perhaps they may not do it “right”
the first time. However, as you touched on much more eloquently than I will
here, the risk of not doing at all due to the fear of mistakes is far
greater than the risk of not doing it “right,” the first time. It may be
different for everyone, but I know for me the right approach is playful and
experimental, which requires the right to do overs.

As you mentioned in your comment, the best of all motivations is self-love.
For me the concept of do overs is an important part of that. I've spent
way too much time beating myself up about mistakes I've made, things I've
said, things I didn't do. I would say that weight, which is cumulative,
does far more to prevent my best than the do over policy ever has. For me
the do over has lessened that weight of the past, and most importantly makes
it possible to detach outcomes and actions from self-love. It's not what
you do, it's who you are, right?

]]> Comment on The magic wand – do overs by jerrycolonna http://danputt.com/2010/03/06/the-magic-wand-do-overs/comment-page-1/#comment-56304 jerrycolonna Sun, 07 Mar 2010 18:42:51 +0000 http://danputt.com/2010/03/06/the-magic-wand-do-overs/#comment-56304 A few of the folks who commented on the original post worried that a pre-existing knowledge of the Do Over might discourage people from trying their best. <br>In reading your post, and thinking about it more, I think the problem with that line of thinking is that it assumes a pessimistic attitude about peoples' motivations. <br><br>Machiavelli essentially taught that it is better to be feared than loved--and so people would be motivated by fear of failing.<br><br>Plato, in the The Republic, said it was better to be admired than loved--and so people would be motivated by fear of disappointing.<br><br>In the end, I think the best of all possible motivations is self-love...and the motivation to forgive yourself, drop the rumination, and move on stems from the notion that we all make mistakes. Then the challenging moment we're in right now becomes a great opportunity to learn. A few of the folks who commented on the original post worried that a pre-existing knowledge of the Do Over might discourage people from trying their best.
In reading your post, and thinking about it more, I think the problem with that line of thinking is that it assumes a pessimistic attitude about peoples' motivations.

Machiavelli essentially taught that it is better to be feared than loved–and so people would be motivated by fear of failing.

Plato, in the The Republic, said it was better to be admired than loved–and so people would be motivated by fear of disappointing.

In the end, I think the best of all possible motivations is self-love…and the motivation to forgive yourself, drop the rumination, and move on stems from the notion that we all make mistakes. Then the challenging moment we're in right now becomes a great opportunity to learn.

]]> Comment on Anxiety by danputt http://danputt.com/2010/02/08/anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-56278 danputt Tue, 09 Feb 2010 20:22:24 +0000 http://danputt.com/?p=556#comment-56278 I like that too and it sounds so simple, but man it is really hard to<br>remember that in the moment. I like that too and it sounds so simple, but man it is really hard to
remember that in the moment.

]]> Comment on Anxiety by jerrycolonna http://danputt.com/2010/02/08/anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-56279 jerrycolonna Tue, 09 Feb 2010 17:36:31 +0000 http://danputt.com/?p=556#comment-56279 by the way...love the new design. by the way…love the new design.

]]> Comment on Anxiety by jerrycolonna http://danputt.com/2010/02/08/anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-56277 jerrycolonna Tue, 09 Feb 2010 17:35:04 +0000 http://danputt.com/?p=556#comment-56277 "There’s a big difference between the anxiety and the situation." Or, to put it another way, feelings aren't facts. “There’s a big difference between the anxiety and the situation.” Or, to put it another way, feelings aren't facts.

]]> Comment on Anxiety by danputt http://danputt.com/2010/02/08/anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-56276 danputt Tue, 09 Feb 2010 15:22:24 +0000 http://danputt.com/?p=556#comment-56276 I like that too and it sounds so simple, but man it is really hard to<br>remember that in the moment. I like that too and it sounds so simple, but man it is really hard to
remember that in the moment.

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