Archive for April, 2008

Venture Voice show 48 - Frank Addante on Time

Great quote from the most recent Venture Voice by serial entrepreneur Frank Addante:

The biggest asset that I have is my time. I have to think about how to best invest my time. As a VC you can always raise more money. you can always get more money, hire more people…But you can never get back your time. I look at time as an investor having a finite asset….I’m not going to take my time and waste it.

I have to admit that time really does not enter the equation for me when making a decision all that often. I more or less think of it and treat it like an infinite, not finite resource. The truth is it is our most precious and most limited resource. I need to value my time more.

Venture Voice - podcast on entrepreneurship, venture capital, business


Vote for Best Warren Buffett Bite of All Time

Yes, I love Buffett and I especially love Buffett quotes.  Some his best:

  • “We simply attempt to be fearful when others are greedy and to be greedy only when others are fearful.”
  • “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.”
  • “Rule No. 1: Never lose money. Rule No. 2: Never forget Rule No. 1″
  • “Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.”
  • “Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked.”

Vote for Best Warren Buffett Bite of All Time - Warren Buffett Watch - CNBC.com

“You’ve got to find what you love”

I’m sure I’ve written on this speech one, two, or ten times already but for some reason it resurfaced this morning for me. I thought about it a little differently today. Steve pleads eloquently in the speech for us to blaze a path of passion in our lives:

Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

But this morning it hit me: I don’t really know what this looks like or certainly not what this feels like. I’ve heard “follow your passion,” in about a million different ways, but the truth is this notion is really abstract for me. It’s like someone telling me “be a billionaire.” I might have some image in my head of what that may look like, and perhaps some ideas of what it may feel like, but ultimately I know almost nothing about living like a billionaire. The same is true for me when I hear people say “follow your passion.” I don’t know what that means, what that looks like, or where that is. So how do you get directions when you don’t know where you are going?

You get lost. I really want so badly for someone to sit me down and say “go there, do this,” but unfortunately this won’t work. It wouldn’t work for anyone. It reminds me a lot of the story my mom told me about learning to ride my bike. I tried to learn at a very early age, and I was determined to get it very quickly. I didn’t want to screw around with the process, I just wanted to ride. So after an hour or so of falling, I lost it. I screamed at my mom to just “tell me how to balance.” I felt that learning to balance was something you could be told how to do, as if my mom was holding the secret over me for her own enjoyment. That obviously was not the case. You have to feel your own way, fall a few (dozen) times, until it clicks.

The same is true for “finding what you love.” You can’t follow a recipe for success (although there is an enormous industry built on the premise that you can). There is no “one size” fits all here. But there are themes. I think you can read about, meet with, learn from those who apparently have found their way. I’m really interested in talking with and meeting more people who have “found what they love.” I know they can’t tell me how to do it, but perhaps I can learn a few tricks of their trade. This isn’t some ancient secret hidden from us all, this is something real people are doing everyday. I’m going to find my way, I figure I just might have to fall a few (dozen) times. It can’t hurt to talk to some people who already have their balance.

Dealing with bad news

There was an article in the WSJ this morning about supporting loved ones when they find out they have cancer. I immediately had opinions on the article because I remember my own experience very clearly with my mom.  I remember cleaning out my college apartment when she called me to give me the news, and I think my immediate reaction was somewhat selfish.  I reacted in a way I thought was right for her, I put on the “you can do this, you can fight this,” hat.  I was so absorbed in reassuring myself that I was completely unaware of what my mom needed at that moment.  Now I certainly won’t beat myself up for that because it was a really difficult thing to go through, but I think the article brings awareness to an important issue: how to offer support in a way that works for the person with the difficult news, not in a way that works just for you.

From the WSJ article:

“Loved ones don’t know what to do, and they don’t want to make a terrible error,” says Marisa Weiss, an oncologist and founder of Breastcancer.org, a nonprofit organization. “This fear keeps people from doing anything.”

While that’s the worst mistake you can make, experts say, there are a number of other slip-ups. Well-meaning friends and family members often ask inappropriate questions, such as the patient’s prognosis. They offer theories on why their loved one got sick, give unsolicited advice or insist that “everything is going to be just fine.”

That was certainly the case for my mom.  She chose to deal with cancer in a manner that shocked and maybe even frustrated a lot of people: She didn’t want to talk about it.  She wanted to have life just go on, she wanted to more or less ignore its presence as much as possible.  And she wanted everyone around her to do the same.  She didn’t want to be a “sick person,” she just wanted to be her usual self.  She didn’t want to go to support groups, she didn’t want to have people call her out of the blue to offer words of encouragement, she just wanted to feel normal.  This approach included not fully knowing the details of her illness.  She chose instead for the doctors to treat her as they saw fit, but to keep her in the dark.  She not only wanted to feel normal, she wanted to maintain a very positive attitude.  This really drove people crazy.  Actually at times it even drove me crazy.  “How can you not know what you’re up against,” some people would say.  But that wasn’t their question to ask.  It was my mom’s.

From my experience, the best advice:

In general, experts say, you should take your lead from the person who is sick. If she wants to talk about her illness, then listen. Don’t be afraid of emotions. “Being there, listening and being supportive is a powerful role,” Dr. Weiss says. “If the person feels comfortable crying in front of you, be honored, because you fulfilled a really important need.”

I broke that bit of advice many times.  I once had a bunch of my mom’s friends send her letters of support. She was not happy about that to say the least.  I missed what was most important to her in her fight…the feeling of normal.  I struggled…how could she not want words of encouragement from so many that love her? Because normal life provided her the encouragement she wanted.  Extra attention from others made her feel sick, more vulnerable.  I didn’t understand then.  I do now.

In retrospect I hold a tremendous amount of respect for my mom’s approach.  It had to be SO hard to not know the details (especially for such an inquisitive person).  The unknown is a scary thing, especially when it relates to your health.  But there’s even more genius in her approach.  Not just because it allowed her to stay positive, and not just because it empowered her mind to think she was healthier than she actually was, but because it was ultimately HER way of dealing with it.  Not mine.  Not Tom’s.  Not her friends.  Hers.

Dealing with bad news is hard enough, offer support to someone as they need it, not how you think you would.




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